10 Successful Secrete every Marriage should have

10 Successful Secrete every Marriage should have  

It’s no big secret that married life is not always plain sailing and that marriage needs hard work to make it successful. We are all human, after all, and that means that we have our faults and annoying little habits. It also means that, inevitably, married couples will disagree and fight, but that doesn’t mean that a marriage can’t be a wonderful thing. If you have ever been through a rough patch in your marriage, you may have wondered how some people have such successful ones. Here are ten of the secrets that can help to make a marriage a strong and solid one.

1. Be realistic about marriage

You really do have to apply the 80/20 rule to a marriage, just as you have to apply it to most other things in life. Accept the fact that there will be things about your spouse that annoy you, and that you won’t be dancing with happiness 100% of the time. If you don’t over romanticise your image of marriage, and you are a bit more realistic about it, you won’t be so disappointed when you find out the truth.

2. Be nice to each other


Familiarity really does breed contempt, and that can be a dangerous thing in a marriage. Whenever you are faced with a choice of saying something hurtful, or being kind, choose the kind and sensitive option. Be as nice and polite to your spouse as you would be to anyone else, and don’t ever take your spouse for granted.

3. Retain your individuality

It is important to work together as a couple, but it is equally important to remember that you are two individuals too. As well matched as you may be, you should still be able to pursue your own interests and be true to yourself. Retaining that individuality doesn’t weaken a marriage, it strengthens it.

4. Don’t stop having fun together

Don’t think that just because you got married, you have to stop having fun together. Whether you enjoy going for walks together, or eating out in swanky restaurants, it’s important to get out of the home occasionally and have a good time together.

5. Be 100% honest with each other

Complete honesty and total trust are two of the main ingredients in a successful marriage. There should be no lies, no secrets, and both people should feel able to talk freely. If something about your spouse is annoying you, then you should say so, because the only way to solve problems in a marriage is to get them out in the open.

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6. Pay attention to each other

There’s little point in being honest, if your partner doesn’t listen to you. Don’t half listen to what your spouse has to say, give them your undivided attention, and take on board what they have to say. Communication is a two way thing and, if you don’t listen, you can’t communicate properly.

7. Don’t blow things out of all proportion

There will be minor irritations and friction between a married couple sometimes, but don’t let them overshadow all the good things that you have. The marriage itself should be a priority in your life and that is far more important than any of the little disputes that might have.

8. Don’t turn a marriage into a competition

You don’t have to keep a score card to have a successful marriage. Yes, both partners should do their fair share of the chores and bring things to the partnership, but it doesn’t have to be a straight 50/50 split to make marriage work. Keeping score of who has done what will only lead to arguments. Find a balance that you are both happy with and leave it at that.

9. Don’t hold grudges


When you do fall out, and you will, once the dust has settled again, let go of whatever it was that caused the argument and forget it. Don’t keep the little mistakes and mishaps in reserve, like some kind of weapon to be used later.  Put those behind you and concentrate on making the most of the good things in the marriage.

10. Don’t stop being romantic

The final important thing to remember about a marriage is not to let all the romance in the relationship disappear. Those little gifts and romantic surprises are just as important, twelve years on, as they were when you were first dating, and so is saying I love you. Letting each other know that the love is still there, will keep you closer and keep the marriage strong.